Our Bad Habit: Are We Still Saved?
Posted
by
mannyD on
1/12/2009 7:22:27 PM
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"Bad habits" - everyone has it, right?
Now, I'm not talking about bad habits such as obssesivley biting your nails. I'm talking "BAD HABITS". Maybe it's a struggle with drugs, alcohol, sex (reality or fantasy), or whatever other sin/"bad habit" that you're dealing with. Listen, I want to express myself as plain as I can to whomever is taking the time to read this right now. If you have or are feeling crushed under the weight of shame, guilt, and that piercing, sorrow feeling in your heart for once again falling a victim to that "bad habit" you were a slave to before you were saved and are now still doing it as a Christian, I believe I am writing this for you (please excuse the runoff sentence. It takes a deep breath to get through that in one shot.).
You know who you are, and I confess, I am one also. "ONE?!" Yeah, one. Let me explain. Non-christians don't go through this. Before I was saved at 14 years of age, I did something at 13 that has followed me and plagued me ever since. A lot of guys go through this. I masturbated for the first time in my bathroom. Afterward, I could feel that what I did was wrong, but guess what, I couldn't stop. Do you know what that's like? Maybe I wasn't clear, so I'll repeat, "I COULD NOT STOP!" The feeling was so intense, yet so wrong and shameful. Still, day after day or week after week, I continued to masturbate. After becoming a Christian, the shame after masturbating became more powerful. I have now struggled with this "bad habit" for three years and am still giving in. Whenever I do, I doubt my salvation. I'm dirty!
I know that some reading this have experienced what I've experienced, your struggle with that most hated "bad habit" of yours. Maybe it's something no one knows about but God. When you fall, you feel like you can't pray, can't look people in the eye without feeling some sort of guilt, can't escape the misery.
Does God still love us? Are we still saved even though we've done some disgusting stuff? Can those same eyes of God that watched as we kissed the lips of someone other than our lover still love us? Or as we searched on our computers or cell phones or TVs for naked or half naked girls or guys so that we could use them for impure acts in our minds? Or as we sneaked a little bit of alcohol into our system, smoked with our friends or by ourselves, or dealt with drugs? CAN GOD STILL LOVE THAT PERSON? ARE WE STILL SAVED? That's the big issue here, isn't it? It's what we want to know? Perhaps no other questions stir our minds as much as these. But you know what, the Bible says that God will forgive those who confess their sins to him. So to all reading this, I want to type a quick prayer to God that I believe will be not only from my heart, but from all who have experienced the shame and guilt of continuing to live in some ways the same as we did before we entered into this love relationship with God.
"Father God, I come before your throne of grace in the name of your Son and my Saviour, Jesus. Lord, I'm scared. I struggle with the thought of you possibly losing your tolerance for me and maybe thinking of erasing my name from your great book: The Book Of Life. God, I want to remain your child; remain in your protective custody. Father God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I've become and at times just not caring for the sacrifice that you've made. God, please know that I don't want to loose you. I want to love you and I want to do so with a clear conscious. I want to live in obedience. I'm tired of living the way I have been; promising that I'll honor you then the next moment or the next day or the next week I do what is displeasing to you. I know that I've disgusted you, hurt you, and maybe even angered you. The devil is betting against me, and God, he's been winning. Father, I'm hopeless without you, without your Son, without your Holy Spirit. Only with you can I escape when I need to. Only with you can I honor people, myself, and you. Father God, I love you and I want to live like it. I don't want to say these words in vain - and still this does not rely on me. It relies on you. Can you give me the strength to live in your love. God, I pray that you will forgive me for my actions and mend this broken heart of mine. In the name of Jesus, I pray that you'll finish what you have begun in me and help me to see the difference between what is lasting and what is fleeting. Help me to see things as you see them. And Father, may you rekindle the fire that I had for your Son, Jesus Christ, when I was first saved. And may your Holy Spirit always remind me that my sin has been forgiven and that there is no condemnation for YOUR CHILDREN. Thank you Father for listening to my honest prayer. May I never lose touch with you. Amen."
Comments
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Hi Manny,
Thanks for sharing your heart and reassuring words with those suffering with sin and doubt. I know how destructive doubting our salvation can be - and I'm learning that Satan tries to defeat us with those doubts. It's helpful to know the Apostle Paul wrestled with re-occurring sin and the Apostle Peter dealt with doubt to the point he denied Jesus. Jesus did not condemn Peter for his sin, but interceded for him and knew he would return to faith - and his experience would be used for His glory. Four times in the last two weeks, I came across this verse:
Luke 22:31-32
Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.
I think its cool that you are following in Peters footsteps - Satan sought to destroy you, but you return to Jesus to help your brothers!
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1/17/2009 11:04:42 AM
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Ryan, Member of Delve into Jesus since 12/30/2007
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Thank you Manny,
Your words were extremely encouraging this morning. I'm in the same place as you. Glory to God that he has given us an outlet to express the realities of this life we live. I feel your transparency and your honesty. But more than anything else, it's good to see that the sons of God are on this site also. Sometimes it seems as though the women on this site are more active. Not to say they are any less necessary. But it is good to hear the truth coming from us guys. Thanks again, and you truly are an awesome spiritual being of magnificent value and worth as a person. Grace and Peace Philsogmanifest
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2/10/2009 4:52:50 AM
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Philsogmanifest, Member of Delve into Jesus since 7/7/2008
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"So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. For the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin that leads to death." Romans 8:1-2
God loved us before He called us into His marvelous light. He knew every move we would make before-hand and still we are His. Keep quiting until you stop. I once heard a great pastor say, "Christians aren't sinless. They just sin less." May the loving peace of God overwhelm you.
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2/11/2009 11:47:16 PM
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mrspiggy, Member of Delve into Jesus since 1/18/2008
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Thanks man that helped me out so much cuz i was in ur boat with the whole sin thing in tha bathroom but wit god all things are possible and i know that this writing is probably old but thanks again i hope it keeps helping young and old man out!
God bless
and god is still on the throne!!!
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3/2/2009 8:08:52 PM
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anonymous
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Hey there anonymous.
Yes, this creative writing piece is about 2 months old, but I'm glad to see that people are still reading it and being affected by it. I want to thank you for sharing that you're in the same boat as I am. It's quite a struggle, isn't it? But it's exactly right what you said, that "God is still on the throne!" Because of this, doors will continue to be opened to make a way for us to be free from this sin. It will take some time and the fight will grow tougher as the days go by, but if we can continue to trust in God and find hope in our close, Christian friends, we'll get through this. I find it so amazing (for lack of a better word) how just one act can affect so much in our lives. I'm sure you know what I mean, and I'm truly thankful for the comment that you made--and for the other comments that were made.
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3/5/2009 7:11:33 PM
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mannyD
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This writing may be months old, but God is still using it to help people! Thank you for your writing! God bless you!!!!
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6/7/2009 2:10:56 PM
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anonymous
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If you have something you want to say about this piece of creative writing or to the author, please feel free to leave a comment here.
