My Testimony
Posted
by
mom0831 on
12/19/2007 2:06:17 PM
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My parents divorced when I was about 3 years old. I was legally adopted by my alcoholic step-father. Needless to say, it was a very dysfunctional home. My earliest remembrance is when I was about 5 and my step-father told me to go pack a suitcase as he was going to take me to an orphanage--he didn't want me anymore. I don't, however, remember ever shedding a tear when he told me this. I think even at that early age I already had built a shell around me. I went to church occasionally during high school but it was mostly a means of escape to get away from home.
Then when I was 23, I was attending a Southern Baptist church in Waco, Texas, with a hell-fire and damnation preacher. After a few months I was scared enough to walk down the aisle and publicly accept Jesus. I was baptized that evening and I became a luke-warm Christian--in name anyway.
As the years went by, I had put God in my medicine chest to be taken out in emergency situations. And he was faithful each time. II Timothy 2:12 "If we believe not, yet He remaineth faithful. He cannot deny himself." But all the time He was drawing me to Him.
At one point, I was single (divorced), had a closet full of expensive clothes and nice furniture thinking, "Linda, you've got the world on a string." Two weeks later my apartment caught on fire and I lost it all.
Another time I was overly concerned with my outward appearance so much so that if I left the house and had forgotten to wear earrings or put on mascara, my whole day was ruined. That was when I got Bell's Palsy. One side of my face was paralyzed. I couldn't close one eye. When I drank liquids, it would run out of one side of my mouth. God was taking away my idols--one by one. I read once "We can best identify our idols by the pain we feel when they are taken away."
Then 13 years ago, I was attending a church in Bozeman, Montana. It was a great church. I never left a service feeling under conviction. The sermons were intellectual. I could go out and party on Saturday night, dust my Bible off Sunday morning and go play church. But some friends of mine kept asking me to come to their church. Finally, in desperation to get them off my back, I went. I was horrified!! These people didn't sit quietly and look at their watches to see how much longer the service would last. They were smiling!! They were joyful!! They were clapping!! They were raising their hands!! They obviously knew something or Someone that I didn't know. And one of the songs they sang had the line "Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!
When the service was over, I glanced at my watch. Two hours had passed! It seemed like 15 minutes. All during the week, I could not get that song or that line out of my head. I woke up humming it and fell asleep with it. I went back the following Sunday and again the 2-hour service passed too quickly and again that song, "Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good."
I went back the third week and after the service I went up the pastor and introduced myself. I told him, "I don't know what you have in this church, but I want it. I want what these people have." "It's the Holy Spirit," he told me. I knew God was the Creator of the universe. I knew Jesus was His only Son. But what or who was this Holy Spirit? I continued to go each Sunday and one day found the courage to go up for prayer. It was then that the tears began and a hunger for God's Word was planted inside me. I could not get enough of the Bible, and yet it seemed that all I could do was cry when I read it. I finally told the pastor, "This is not fair. I don't want to cry all the time. I want that joy that these other people have." He explained to me that while the Bible says "out of the belly shall flow rivers of living water" that a river cannot flow when it is dammed up. God was using my tears to break down the dam of anger, bitterness and unforgiveness. Psalm 56 says He puts our tears in a bottle and writes them in a book. I have a library.
While reading Jeremiah 18 about Jeremiah going to the potter's house where the potter is working on a clay vessel, God opened my eyes to realize that when clay becomes hard, it cannot be shaped. To be made into a useful vessel, it must be kept moist in the potter's hands. My tears were keeping this clay moist. It was then that the tears were no longer tears of past hurts and disappointments, but became tears of repentance for all the many times I had grieved the Holy Spirit--for the all the years this clay had been hard and unyielding.
Gradually, the Holy Spirit began changing me--replacing the anger with love, the bitterness with compassion and the unforgiveness with forgiveness. The fruit of the Spirit was taking root--the love, the joy, the peace.
And I found a new excitemtnt in worship A new wonder at being able to come boldly unto the throne of grace and find mercy.
A new wonder at being adopted by God--that He was my Abba, Father--and He would always want me.
I had tasted and I see that the Lord is good....
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We really appreciate all of your recent contributions to the web site, especially your testimony. What an amazing, touching and inspiring story! Thank you so for posting it.
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12/20/2007 1:09:28 PM
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Michael Lane, Executive Director, Delve Christian Ministries
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How wonderful to hear your testimony. God's ways of bringing us to Him are as different and unique as each one of us.
I like what you mentioned about worship. My experience with that has helped open doors in my spriritual life. After being saved for 25 years, and finally putting God in His rightful place (on the Throne!), God helped me through various times. I love to worship my Lord and King.
Thanks again for your story.
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1/2/2008 10:35:15 PM
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anonymous
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God Bless you for sharing such a touching and encouraging testimony. May God continue to use you mighty.
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1/7/2008 2:50:23 PM
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anonymous
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Beautiful. Thank you so sharing.
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2/15/2008 11:20:00 AM
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mrspiggy, Member of Delve into Jesus since 1/18/2008
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Thank you for sharing, it was truly inspiring. Praise God.
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3/15/2008 12:06:51 AM
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Suzyvzy, Member of Delve into Jesus since 3/14/2008
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Wow I feel so blessed by your testimony. I love that you mention the work of the Holy Spirit in your heart and the way your heart was gradually transformed. I pray that I will be able to open myself up to the Holy Spirit and see Him transform my heart too
God bless
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7/12/2008 12:57:23 AM
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anonymous
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