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Thanks very much for sharing your question with us. I will do my best to respond as sensitively as I can. Let me start with the things that I think are relatively clear from the Bible. First, it is very clear from Paul's teaching that it is a sin to practice homosexuality. (Please see my article, "Is It A Sin To Be Gay" for details on this conclusion.) But this sin is really no different than any other sin. Many Christians suffer problems with pornography, gambling or alcohol and I don't see that homosexuality is any different. We would not turn our back on a child who had problems with any of these, so it's not clear to me why Christians often treat this sin so differently. I have seen parents disown and cut off all contact with their homosexual children, and I simply cannot see how this reaction could ever make the situation better, nor how it is consistent with the Christian faith. It is a reaction based on fear and misunderstanding. I think the response of a parent is clear - refuse to condone the behavior yet express total, unconditional love and support. Can this work in practice? I believe it can, and I speak here from personal experience. A member of my extended family is gay and after years of ignoring the issue, we finally had a long talk earlier this year. I made it clear that I could not condone or support the lifestyle, but I would never exclude or shun her in any way. I made it clear that she would always have my love and support. This has worked very well for both of us. Our family has not been fractured in any way. I pray for her continually and I recommend you do the same. Pray for healing, family unity, and for a change in his sexual orientation. I don't think this is naive - the Holy Spirit can bring about any change in our behavior, no matter how dramatic. Treat this like any other sinful behavior or unhealthy addiction. I don't pretend to know how difficult this is for you or your son, how hard it is to live as a homosexual, or how hard it is to change that behavior (or to even desire to change it.) I do know that love, support and prayer are the only answer, for that is so clearly the response that Jesus asks of each us under any circumstance.
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arsindelve-
8/12/2007 8:44:23 PM
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Thank you for kind and thoughful words. I really appreciate you getting back to me so quickly.
God bless you.
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anonymous-
8/12/2007 9:07:23 PM
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You're so very welcome! I hope I have helped a little. May I pray for you and your son? If you don't mind, I'd be happy to do so. You can reply here, or post a prayer request if you prefer (also anonymously) from the "Prayer" menu, and all of the members of our site can pray for you.
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arsindelve-
8/12/2007 9:24:03 PM
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If you have an answer or some information to contribute, or you would simply like to say something to the author of this question, please feel free to leave a comment below.
Don't forget that our forum
is also open if you want to join or start a discussion.
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