I have some questions about relationships- Do you think that God matches us with people we should marry? Do you think that only one person has been set apart for us to marry? Do you think true love really exists or is it just a fantasy? If I have someone I think I should marry, how do I KNOW that God is ok with this relationship?What if he has someone better? What do you all think?

7/19/2007 5:33:18 PM by Pete L., Member of Delve into Jesus since 7/19/2007

I hope someday to find someone to marry too! I am hoping that I know who it is by the signals God sends me. I don't think God would want me to marry someone who does things contrary to my faith or the bible. If that someone you have found has the same faith and morals as you, I think you are on the right track. I don't know how to know though if God has someone better--I guess I would really pray hard about it.

7/23/2007 11:17:17 AM by Sweetwaterlife, Member of Delve into Jesus since 7/23/2007

Hello.I have a question about relationships too.There's this guy who I believe is interested in me and if we got together,eventually marriage will follow.Only thing is,I can't have children for health reasons and would feel that I'm knocking him out of the chance for a family.Should I let him know this asap? Do you think he'd reject me or accept it?

11/25/2007 10:27:27 PM by Alison, Member of Delve into Jesus since 11/25/2007

Alison, Welcome to the site and the message board. It's wonderful to have you here. Let me give you the guy's perspective (since that is all I have to offer!) It's not just a simple issue of honesty, timing is important. If you tell him too soon, he will be a little scared and wondering, "Why are you telling me this, I just started dating you!" Tell him too late and he will feel betrayed. I would say for me, the best timing would be after a few dates if it's clear there is some chemistry and a chance for a future. First date is likely too soon, and a dozen dates is likely too late. It breaks my heart to tell you this, but a man who wants a family may have to say goodbye at that point. He will respect your honesty, but that will not do anything to ease your pain. The good news is that lots of men will be willing to accept your condition. When I met my wife, we did not believe she could have children but I did not hesitate to marry her. At that time, I was not certain I wanted children, but I was certain I wanted her. Raising children is an important part of life, but it's not everything. So, whatever you do, don't give up hope!

11/26/2007 8:08:54 AM by tom, Member of Delve into Jesus since 4/26/2007

Hi Alison, I think that if a relationship is meant to be--it will be. If the guy you are dating respects, understands and accepts the fact you are unable to have children then that is the right guy for you. I would wait until the opportunity arises as it would naturally in any relationship. Usually after dating a short while, a couple has a discussion about their future goals, dreams, etc. At that point, it would be natural to bring up children--whether this is a goal of his, how high a priority and what he thinks of adoption. I would be completely honest with him and see where he stands. It is possible that while he may want his own children, he is also willing to adopt children or foster children. Some of the best parents in the world are those who desperately wanted their own children but opened their hearts to adoption or fostering and found out that God had a plan after all in leading them to that exact child. What is important is that your desires, hopes, dreams and goals match his and that you can work together towards common goals, etc. If you desperately want children and the guy decides it is not a priority at all and would not consider adoption (for example) when you would, then that guy is not the right guy for you. If, on the other hand, you have accepted the fact you can't have children and furthermore don't want children, then you need to find someone who feels the same way. Religion, children, politics and common goals are all things that eventually get discussed in a relationship as it naturally progresses. I would not be rushing to tell him anything--let the relationship progress and stay tuned in to the hints and things he says as it unfolds. Chances are, you will get a good feel for whether or not he would be accepting of you and your medical condition early enough on before you even get to the point of telling him. Also, relationships don't work out for a variety of other reasons so there is no sense in rushing in to tell him only to find out that the relationship won't progress and you perhaps feel like you would have rather not disclosed this information to him. It'll all happen naturally and if he is the one God wants for you--he will accept you whole heartedly, love you for who you are and want to plan a life with you--with or without children. The guy who is right for you will look beyond problems to find solutions and will be so madly in love with you that he will support your goals, support you in your medical condition and be by your side no matter what. Take the risk with this guy and date him...then see what happens as time goes on...you'll know and you'll have your answer within months, I bet and at least you won't wonder 'what if I had just tried to date him?" It can't hurt to at least try--and if he decides that he can't handle that info, then that would be a clear sign that he is not "the one". The right one will come along. Who knows? Maybe it is him :-D

11/26/2007 5:52:41 PM by Sweetwaterlife, Member of Delve into Jesus since 7/23/2007

I would like to comment on this issue as well as the beginning one by Pete L. Alison I agree with all the above, and hope it is going well for you. Just to reiterate though. If the guy is a true honest Christian man it won't matter. If you are trully in love, it won't matter. I am recently involved with the love of my life, and although we plan to have kids if she couldn't i wouldn't love her any less, and that's not just words. If he is the one it won't matter. Pete A teacher at my school once said that love is a choice. It is a committment. Also a more blunt way of putting it is that it takes two to tango. I believe that if two people are in love, keeping God at the center of their relationship, and striving to serve God with their lives then God will honor that relationship. And if it isn't the right "one" for them then if they have been keeping God at the center God will tell both of them that it isn't right. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ. And if you are meant to find that someone, God will bring them to you. God's ways are higher than ours, and when we try to "fast-food" our relationships, that is get it now, we end up messing things up. Just trust God, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

12/11/2007 9:53:16 PM by PbPrince11, Member of Delve into Jesus since 12/11/2007

Hi all,and thanks for answering my questions.Just thought I'd stop by and let you know about the guy thing.Well,it wasn't too long after that question that the guy came into church with a girl hand in hand.I figure it was not meant to be.

12/15/2007 4:39:10 AM by Alison, Member of Delve into Jesus since 11/25/2007

Hi Alison: Sorry that it did not work out. Maybe it was not meant to be or maybe it will be meant to be in the future. Just because he was hand in hand does not necessarily mean he is going to pursue a relationship with her that leads to marriage. I've had this happen to me too and I've been so disappointed and crushed because I got to the point where I began to actually consider the 'what ifs' and I thought he felt the same way as me or at least he was interested and I was blind-sided when I saw him hugging another girl goodbye at church. It was quite the hug too! Well, it turned out down the road that while he did date her, he never ended up with her in the end. I did have to witness him dating many girls over a long period of time and it wasn't long before I realized that while I thought he was a perfect match at the time, he had other flaws that only time revealed. I will pray things work out for you and that you find the love of your life soon...and that the guy that you meet you will be led to by God and that he will be understanding of the fact you might not ever be able to have children. Sorry about your news....

12/15/2007 2:17:43 PM by Sweetwaterlife, Member of Delve into Jesus since 7/23/2007

Hi Sweetwaterlife, As a matter of fact,I know one of this guy's flaws already just by observing him.He seems to have a temper.I had allready dealt with that kind in the past and,believe me,it's not pretty.Okay,thanks for your prayers.I am grateful for that,and this site.Other sites where such a headache.It was like pulling teeth to get anyone to answer my questions.Again thanks.

12/16/2007 4:23:51 PM by Alison, Member of Delve into Jesus since 11/25/2007

Alison, I'd like to address the children issue. I too, was told I could not have children at age 27. I spoke with God about this Before meeting my husband. I wanted a son and read about Hannah's prayer (I Sam 2). Seven years later, I met and married my husband. When he asked me to marry him, I told him that I could not have children... Our son, Richard turned 16 this past Wednesday. God can heal your body IF you want a child. I pray that the man for you will come along and you will know him by his fruit. Until then, continue to delight yourself in the Lord. For it is He who gives you the desires of your heart I'll keep you in prayer, as this subject is so dear to my heart.

1/19/2008 10:49:47 AM by mrspiggy, Member of Delve into Jesus since 1/18/2008

In response to the last comment, I think I need to add something very important. We can be certain that God CAN heal you, and will certainly do so if that is His will. However, I think we need to make it clear that God will not do so if there is some greater, ultimate purpose at work. I know it's hard, but we have to want His will above our own will. Our prayers have to echo those of Jesus in the Garden, "My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will, not mine." So, let me pray, Alison, that God would take that cup from you and allow you to have children, but above all us may His will be done. I hope this doesn't sound uncaring - I simply know that God's long term will for you is amazing, even if the short term will is challenging.

1/19/2008 4:51:16 PM by marklang, Member of Delve into Jesus since 4/3/2007

Mrs Piggy - It's so amazing, gracious and merciful that God healed you, but that may or may not be His will for Alison. If it is not His will to heal Alison, it's so important that we understand this is not an issue of her faith or obedience. God will heal her if it's His desire for her to have children, regardless of how much she wants children. It's so dangerous to say that someone cannot have children because they lack faith or are not obedient. (I don't think you're implying this, but others have said this to my wife in the past and it's very damaging). God works according to His purposes, not our desires.

1/19/2008 4:58:03 PM by tom, Member of Delve into Jesus since 4/26/2007

Thank you, Tom. No, I am not by any means impying a lack of faith or obedience. All I am saying is that because doctors tell you that you can't have a child does NOT mean that you can't have a child. Yes, it has to be in God's Will, for certain. When I became pregnant I asked my doctor how it happened and she said, "An act of God." Of course it was God's Will. I believe all children come from God. If, as you stated God works according to His purposes and not our desires, why would the scripture be written in Psalms 37:4, Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart? Further, when you delight yourself in the Lord, the desires of your heart is His purpose for you. Key words: delight in the Lord. I have come to understand that God puts His purpose in our hearts when we delight in Him. If I'm wrong about this, may God have mercy on my soul.

1/19/2008 5:45:35 PM by mrspiggy, Member of Delve into Jesus since 1/18/2008

Thanks for that clarification. I don't think I could agree more with what you wrote. There is so much peace, joy and satisfaction to be gained when we just make God the top desire and priority of our hearts. We can chase after God to give us this and give us that, but in the end, what we want most should be Him, and that will provide more joy and peace than we could ever imagine. Thank you for all your recent contributions to the site. It's been very encouraging to read what you've had to say in response to many of the recent prayer requests.

1/19/2008 7:35:02 PM by Michael Lane, Executive Director, Delve Christian Ministries

I'd like to add that I believe that our main purpose for being on earth is to glorify God. And this ebsite allows us to do just that. Here, at this site, we can lift each other up in prayer and "gather to touch and agree with one another for the "good gifts" of the Father. I have been blessed to find this site and read the encouraging words of sisters and brothers in Christ. My pastor spoke this morning on the esteem in which we should hold our "spiritual family". May God bless you all.

1/20/2008 2:16:08 PM by mrspiggy, Member of Delve into Jesus since 1/18/2008

Hello.I have been busy these past few days and thought I'd drop by since getting these new posts.I highly agree with everything Tom said.Maybe I do have a different purpose to God's plan.After all,having children is just one of many milestones to look foward to.There are other forms of happiness.Can't wait to see what it is but coming from God,has to be great!!

1/22/2008 2:27:09 PM by Alison, Member of Delve into Jesus since 11/25/2007

I know I've been here(on this topic) before. But in passing it again, I thought of a movie I saw years ago called "Made in heaven" with Timothy Hutton and the girl from Top Gun.

3/25/2008 9:49:36 PM by mrspiggy, Member of Delve into Jesus since 1/18/2008

Mrs.Piggy, Hmm...don't believe I've heard of it.I just brought the movie "The Notebook".I think it's very good.

3/26/2008 4:33:48 AM by Alison, Member of Delve into Jesus since 11/25/2007

Praise the Lord everyone!! I'm new to this site ... and the topic of relationships is a big area of confusion in my life .... and I needed some godly counsel. See I'm in love with this guy and I feel like he is the one God has for me but I'm afraid its about to be over. Now, in my past I have constantly had my heartbroken and Im afraid to go through it again ... especially since I see him on the regular basis since we go to the same church he plays the piano and I sing on the choir so i see him about 3 times a week and I cant bare to see him as much as I do and try to get over him at the same time. I'm just so lost right now and dont know what to do

4/30/2008 6:21:12 PM by VirtuousWoman87, Member of Delve into Jesus since 4/30/2008

Welcome VirtuousWoman, I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. I will pray for you... Keep drawing near to God. He will love and comfort you. Trust Him in all of your relationships. Don't ever be in a hurry. Do you have a close female friend who you can start to spend more time with? You may even invite her to choir to be a support for you, so you won't feel so uneasy when you are around the guy. (Healing will come.) God bless you!

4/30/2008 6:59:31 PM by Ignited~Faith, Member of Delve into Jesus since 2/20/2008

Ignited Faith Thank you, please keep me in your prayers .. I do have a friend that I can start to spend more time with and I will talk to her about this cause i haven't talk to her about it yet ... I pray i can make it through this I dont know how much heart break i can take

4/30/2008 9:47:00 PM by VirtuousWoman87, Member of Delve into Jesus since 4/30/2008

May I intervene? I, too, am sorry to read that you are in love and it may be over. I was in love with a guy once and I just new he was "the one", then we stopped seeing each other. He actually moved away. I cried and cried because I felt he was the one for me. I prayed about it and soon was able to let it go and move on with my life. I had my girlfriends to support me. IgnitedFaith is right about the support you can get from girlfriends. I got really involved with church ministry and went to grad school. Seven years later, I ran into him again. We started dating again. Now, he's my wonderful husband. When I think back on it, I know that I wasn't ready to be a wife. I needed to spend more time wih God, first. I had to "find" myself in Him before being a wife. Be encouraged, VictoriousWoman, it ain't over till God says it's over. When He tells you to let it go, let it go. You never know what He has in store for you.

4/30/2008 11:07:39 PM by mrspiggy, Member of Delve into Jesus since 1/18/2008

Thank you for your encouraging words ...I have realize I am dealing with a matter of trust ... not in man or myself but in God ... That He will take care of everything if I let go and allow Him to take control of my life.... Just keep me in prayer please...

5/1/2008 4:15:03 PM by VirtuousWoman87, Member of Delve into Jesus since 4/30/2008

I will pray for your healing in this matter and for God's will to be made clear to you. Be blessed.

5/1/2008 5:40:18 PM by mrspiggy, Member of Delve into Jesus since 1/18/2008

Please login to add a comment