You are viewing 
Discussions : Physical Touch In Dating Relationship
Logged in as
<< Up to Topic: Christian Living
▼ Scroll down to last post

Physical Touch In Dating Relationship

* Click here to be notified by email whenever someone posts *

Where do you draw the line physically in a dating relationship? Are there any verses that refer to anything like this?
6/26/2008 3:55:16 AM by Carrots, Member of Delve into Jesus since 6/26/2008

Hi Carrots,
What a great question!
The Bible verses I find, only speak of Not going "all the way."
The sad thing is, some people take this as meaning
everything is ok to do, just so you don't go all the way to
having intercourse. (I DON"T think this is at all what the
Scriptures imply!) The more physically involved you are
with someone, the greater the temptation may become to
go all the way (before Marriage) and sin. The less physically involved, the more friendships you can enjoy, (without regrets).
A person needs to really get to know someone, and mature in your relationship, and see if this person is the best for you. (Before quickly moving into intimacy or Marriage.) Too often people get too close, and there is nothing saved for the next step in there relationship!
(You start out as a friend. Then date. Then you may go steady.
Then you get engaged. Then you get Married.)
Here is a pretty good example of a chart I found
for Christians who are Dating and wanting to stay Pure for Marriage.
1. Friendship (Look... Touch.)
2. Dating (Holding Hands Lightly... Constantly Holding Hands.)
3. Going Steady (Light Kiss...Strong Kiss.)
4. Engaged (Strong Kiss...French Kiss.)
(Saving everything else for Marriage!)

(The Bible teaches that premarital sex is wrong.
Sexual Intimacy is for Married couples.)

"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled:
but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."
Hebrews 13:4

(There are consequences of sin.)

"Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting."
Galatians 6:7-8


"Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God."
1 Corinthians 6:9-10


The good news is, that if someone has gone too far, they can Repent and ask for forgiveness!
(They still may have to live with some consequences though.)
Examples: Disease, unplanned Pregnancy, etc.

6/26/2008 6:36:06 AM by Ignited~Faith, Member of Delve into Jesus since 2/20/2008


On behalf of Delve Christian Ministries, let me give you a great big welcome! It's great to have you here.

I think Ignited Faith really hit the nail on the head, so I don't have much else to add. Let me just repost a piece of sometime I wrote to someone last year about this issue:

There used to be a web site run by a Christian Pastor called It was Pastor Jim's calling to answer questions like these for young Christian couples. (Sadly, the site is no longer there).

I'm going to tell you what Pastor Jim said about this, since he was much more wise and experienced in this kind of counseling than I am. His answer (and I paraphrase) is that any kind of touching or activity, the purpose of which is to cause sexual feelings or arousal in your partner, would be considered sex. Conversely, if your intention in kissing or holding hands is to physically demonstrate your affection (but again, not to cause arousal) it would be fine.

Jim asked the question, "why should just intercourse be considered sex?" Good question. That is what society has decreed, but there is no good reason to make that distinction.

6/26/2008 8:02:24 AM by Michael Lane, Executive Director, Delve Christian Ministries

Thank you so much for your responses! This has certainly helped me out... in an area that I have greatly questioned for some time.

This site is so neat! And you all seem so neat, and willing and ready to encourage and offer Biblical council. Thanks a lot!
6/30/2008 4:54:48 PM by Carrots, Member of Delve into Jesus since 6/26/2008

Dear Friend,

First let me say, "Christian's are right-side up, in an upside-down world."

The reason I say that is because God's standard for dating/courting, is not the way the world views it.

For instance, when should teens be allowed to date? They should first achieve "three" prerequisites:

1. When they are aware of both benefits and the dangers of dating.
2. When they have personally worked out from Scripture a set of God's dating standards.
3. When they have purposed that they will "not" lower these standards, even if it means losing dates.

God most certainly does have requirements for dating and the focus is in order as follows:
1. Spiritual. A couple should come together in "one" spirit. Therefore, they need to be in "one" accord and not unequally yoked.

2. Soul. They should establish a mental and emotional oneness. Their spiritual goals should be the same.

3. Body. Physical intimacy is consummated in marriage. "For this casue shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh." Mark 10:7, 8

The world works in REVERSE! 1. Physical (Body), Soul (likes, dislikes), and last... Spiritual. This is a recipe for ...disaster!

Satan seeks to revese this order by having teen-agers begin their dating with physical involvement. This causes distrust and insecurity. It produces emotional involvement along with guilt. Spiritual development, therefore, is often put off until AFTER marriage.

It all comes down to..."self-control." Something we sadly don't hear much about anymore. Do we fear God or man?

To God be the glory...
7/31/2008 11:49:54 AM by lostnsavd, Member of Delve into Jesus since 7/30/2008

Post a Reply:

Advanced Editing Options (Click to Expand)
HTML Preview (Click to Expand)

Delve Christian Ministries