Hi all,

I am getting married on Saturday! What are your top tips and advice for a long, happy, Christ-centred marriage?

8/17/2010 1:50:33 PM by Debora, Member of Delve into Jesus since 4/26/2009

I think it's so important to watch what you say and how you behave when you are angry with each other or have disagreements. Arguments will happen, and sometimes it can get heated, but as long as you focus on the issues, maintain respect and never allow it to get personal, conflict does not have to be negative. In fact, constructive conflict is a sign of health in a marriage, whereas an absence of conflict is a warning sign, and often means that you're keeping everything inside, and it will eventually erupt in a dangerous and unexpected way.

Secondly, I think it's extremely important to pray together as a couple.

I hope this helps!

8/17/2010 4:41:28 PM by Michael Lane, Executive Director, Delve Christian Ministries

..oops...Congratulations and good luck! I should have said that first!

8/17/2010 4:42:10 PM by Michael Lane, Executive Director, Delve Christian Ministries

Congratulations Debora!

On this auspicious occasion, I'd like to mention one of my very favorite passages of scripture:
1 Corinthians 7:3-5

I hope it's not improper to broach this subject in mixed company. I'm still unsure of spiritual protocol, but since St. Paul gave the advice to mixed company, I'll just hide behind the Apostle.

Actually, for a long time I've kind of been spying on Christian women who share marital advice through a daily e-mail I signed up for. I enjoy the way they express themselves and they give terrific, but predictable advice, like praying and studying together. Understandably, they miss the male perspective on many issues; and I've never caught them discussing the wisdom of Paul's counsel on this subject.

That silence is regrettable, because I see guys around me destroying lives with sexual sins. In contrast, I'm going to God in praise for His designs and for giving me a wife who happily interprets this passage the same way I do. Really, I never find a need to get beyond the letter of these verses, while my wife lives in the spirit of these verses, and it's her response to both good times and bad.

Also, I think laughing together is essential, and that often jives with 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 too. I can foresee me and my wife growing very old together - and laughing all the way. That is my prayer for you and your husband too!

8/19/2010 3:15:22 PM by Ryan, Member of Delve into Jesus since 12/30/2007

After spending over 39years with the same man, yes namely my husband, Evan, and me being saved and him not, Ive just come up with this plan of tatics...when we find ourselves gridlocked, teeth barred ready for round two, lets not create a 'dummies meeting' as this happens every time, its only taken me ah just 39yrs to come up with it and as yet we havent put it into practice, we have agreed to carry it out, next time we differ or are annoyed at the other one.
I'll keep you posted if it works out, and you try it and let me know, but here's hoping you wont have to find out CONGRATULATIONS, it aint all bad we have 4 lovely grown ups who have given us 8 grandkids, now thats much blessing from the Lord indeed, praise Him.

1/30/2011 2:25:43 PM by Maure, Member of Delve into Jesus since 1/30/2011

After spending over 39years with the same man, yes namely my husband, Evan, and me being saved and him not, Ive just come up with this plan of tatics...when we find ourselves gridlocked, teeth barred ready for round two, lets not create a 'dummies meeting' as this happens every time, its only taken me ah just 39yrs to come up with it and as yet we havent put it into practice, we have agreed to carry it out, next time we differ or are annoyed at the other one.
I'll keep you posted if it works out, and you try it and let me know, but here's hoping you wont have to find out CONGRATULATIONS, it aint all bad we have 4 lovely grown ups who have given us 8 grandkids, now thats much blessing from the Lord indeed, praise Him.

1/30/2011 2:25:48 PM by Maure, Member of Delve into Jesus since 1/30/2011

Take my advice-
Marriage is an institution of compromises...

7/23/2011 8:35:49 AM by LeeMartini, Member of Delve into Jesus since 6/21/2011

Congratulations!
First on a personal note,
always put Christ First, then your Husband,
then your Children.
And try to be the first one to make up
after an argument!
Marriage is a COVENANT.
Here is something I found the other day:

Honoring the Covenant of Marriage
God’s View on Our Vows/Covenants

God’s Design for Marriage


18"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

19And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

20And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

21And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

22And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

23And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

25And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed."

Genesis 2:18-25 (KJV)

4"And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

6Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."

Matthew 19:4-6 (KJV)
God is serious about covenants!

“Do not be hasty in word or impulsive in thought to bring up a matter in the presence of God. For God is in heaven and you are on the earth; therefore let your words be few. . . .
When you make a vow to God, do not be late in paying it; for He takes no delight in fools. Pay what you vow! It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay. Do not let your speech cause you to sin and do not say in the presence of the messenger of God that it was a mistake. Why should God be angry on account
of your voice and destroy the work of your hands?”

Ecclesiastes 5:2, 4-6 (KJV)


Marriage by definition is:
1. A holy covenant
2. Initiated by God
3. Conditioned on an irrevocable promise
4. Oneness with an imperfect person of the opposite sex
5. For a lifetime
6. To glorify God

God’s Word on Marriage
Romans 12:10 “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.”
1 Peter 3:7 “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your
prayers will not be not hindered.”
Ephesians 5:33 “The wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”


God’s Desire for Marriage
“Marriage is to be held in honor among all,

and the marriage bed is to be undefiled;

for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”

(Hebrews 13:4)

Honor (Greek): precious, valuable, honorable
Undefiled (Greek): unsoiled, uncontaminated, pure


God’s Word on a Defiled Marriage

8"But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth."

Colossians 3:8 (KJV)

Anger: a deep, smoldering bitterness; the settled heart attitude of an angry person.
Wrath: a sudden outburst of sinful anger, usually the eruption that flows out of anger.
Malice: the Greek term denotes general moral evil and refers primarily to evil speech which damages.
Slander: to mock, scold, complain angrily, ridicule, or speak evil of.
Filthy language: abusive, abrasive, shameful, and lying speech.


19"Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

20Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,

21Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God."

Galatians 5:19-21 (KJV)

Sexual immorality: fornication; the Greek word is porneia, from which the English word “pornography” comes; refers to all illicit sexual activity,
including (but not limited to) adultery, premarital sex, homosexuality,
bestiality, incest, and prostitution.
Lewdness: excessive behavior or lack of restraint associated with sexual excess and indulgence.
Sorcery: the Greek word is pharmakeia, from which the English word “pharmacy” comes; originally referred to medicines in general, but eventually only to mood- and mind-altering drugs.


God’s Word on Honoring Marriage



12"Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;

13Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye."

Colossians 3:12-13 (KJV)

Tender: may also be rendered “heart of compassion”
Kindness: benevolence in action“speaking their love language”
Humility: admitting when wrong
Meekness: a willingness to suffer insult or injury rather than to inflict such hurts
Longsuffering/Patience: opposite of quick anger, resentment, or revenge


Food for Thought:
If I can’t show honor to my spouse in our marriage,
how can I show honor to God in my life?
Where you place your attention
is where you place your affection!

7/23/2011 7:20:27 PM by Ignited~Faith, Member of Delve into Jesus since 2/20/2008

My understanding of Marriage is:
1. It can be a Holy Covenant struck by mankind and the Creator, by it is subjective. Marriage has long been seen as initiated by the female for security purposes, little more. Research this and learn what is true, not merely what you want to see.
2. Conditional on a promise by a flawed creature, humans.
3. Two seeking to be as one in mind, body and spirit, whatever the sex. I am not homosexual, nor is my wife, but culture tends at times to accept same sex marriage- we are a pitiful creature trying to please ourselves, only some before our Lord and God. It is what it is.
3. It is intended to be for a lifetime, but certain actions of one may lead to a separation of souls as is best for the two not to be yoked any further. “Best” is the key word here. I was happily married to my loving wife for twelve years before she passed away, she is still with me in spirit. If it is beneficial for all concerned to separate, then so be it, but if it is just a desire, and desires change all the time, then I say the bond is to be permanent, work it out.
4. Ultimately a lifetime union through thick and thin should glorify our Father in heaven, but it does not and Scripture tells us that in the end time that we, as faithful followers of the Father, shall be put to death and even forsaken for our faith- God knows your heart, may it be pleasing to you in seeking to glorify the Father… Best of life to ya! Lee

7/24/2011 7:10:45 AM by LeeMartini, Member of Delve into Jesus since 6/21/2011