I last posted something about a year ago when I was going through a very painful seperation. My husband of 10 years left our marriage and started another relationship with the woman who was pursuing him. Well, a year later and the divorce is final and I have never been closer to the Lord as I am now. I have gone to counseling, divorce recovery group and recieved a lot of help and advice from my christian friends. However, despite a lot of healing, I am struggling with forgiving my ex and the other woman. They are still together and he has been involving her in our children's lives. I have to hear about her, see pictures of her, and live with the reality that he is happy and in love with this person. I desperatly want to be able to forgive them both, but have been unsuccessful. Does anybody have any advice? I would really like to move on and leave this behind me.

10/29/2009 10:29:43 AM by Jennel, Member of Delve into Jesus since 1/7/2009

In the past it has been my experience that forgiveness starts with a decision, the decision that you will no longer allow yourself to feel this anger and you will no longer allow yourself to continue hurting yourself this way. Second, you must realize that you do not deserve to feel this pain, it is not a punishment imposed by anyone other than yourself. Once you make this decision and realize that you are the only one in control of this situation, the Holy Spirit is free to help you see your decision through to fruition.

When I met my wife I was living with my grandparents caring for them and their ranch. My wife was not interested in living in the middle of nowhere so I moved to town with her. My grandfather and my father were very angry with the decision and we did not talk for some time. One day my wife and I decided we did not have the right to remain angry and that it was not healthy for us. We were convicted to just forgive them right then and there which we did, but we decided not to tell the other parties. The next day I got a call from the hospital that my grandfather had broken his hip and wanted to talk to us. The Holy Spirit had convicted him that it was time to set aside anger and heal relationship. My point is that we were convicted to let go of our anger and when we did healing took place. It may not always happen as quickly as it did for us, but the Holy Spirit WILL honor your decision to let go of anger and nurture forgiveness.

Blessings upon you!

10/31/2009 9:37:23 AM by kcgodlyman, Member of Delve into Jesus since 6/17/2009

There is a time to let go of past hurts and only you know when your time is. The Bible says to forgive quickly so as not to allow bitterness to settle in your heart. I wrestled with unforgiveness for a long time. Then, as kcgodlyman posted, I decided to forgive. But, I wanted it to be from my heart as the Bible says it should be. I prayed on it and a couple of scriptures came into my spirit. One says "As far as the east is from the west" and " I will remember your sins no more". I believe to really forgive, we must forget the offense ever occurred and remember it no more. Trust me satan will bring it up over and over. But, you have the power to overrule him. Pray for them. Bless them with your words. Remember how good it felt to know that you were forgiven by our Father.

11/2/2009 4:00:02 PM by mrspiggy, Member of Delve into Jesus since 1/18/2008

Scripture references: Jeremiah 31:34 and Psalms 103:12

11/2/2009 4:05:09 PM by mrspiggy, Member of Delve into Jesus since 1/18/2008