I have been with my husband for 7 years. For the past 2 years, he never took notice of me. I do everything alone---I sleep alone, eat alone, shop for groceries alone, visit friends and relatives alone. I have been clinging on to the marriage because I was hoping one day---he will change. I go home early everyday just to see him sleeping and just to hug him for a couple of seconds. A week ago, I found out he has been having an affair for 1.5 years now with an older woman. This woman provided everything for him. After knowing this, he said he can't afford to lose me and he will do everything to have me back. After a couple of days, he changed his mind and said he wanted his time alone to search for his soul and what he really wants 'coz he said he doesn't want to hurt me again.
I just feel so hurt and disrespected because I was the one neglected, I was the one who understood his alcoholism, his temper and beating... I was the one who had to bear suffering of being cheated on---now I have to be the one to wait for him??? What if I will be waiting for nothing? I

9/12/2008 12:28:10 PM by ainna, Member of Delve into Jesus since 9/12/2008

Trust in God. He is restoring marriages. Ask and you shall receive.

9/12/2008 8:26:25 PM by mrspiggy, Member of Delve into Jesus since 1/18/2008

Ainna;

I am sorry you are going through this and that you are hurting so much! One of the things that I noted in your writing was that you mentioned he suffers from alcoholism and that he has a temper and you've endured his beating. If he suffers from these things, while God can change anyone, it is important that you protect yourself and are somewhere safe. You deserve a healthy, safe relationship and it sounds like that it might not be possible with what your husband's behavior and things in his life that he is battling. No woman deserves to be beaten, no matter how little or great and it is important you don't put yourself in a situation where you risk your own safety.
As far as his cheating, I this seems to also just add to your pain and it clearly shows that he is not ready, at least at this point, to respect you and have a healthy relationship with you.
You really need to get into a quiet place and seek God and ask that He reveal to you what steps you should take next. I would strongly encourage you that it might be time to separate yourself from your husband, get some council from a trusted advisor such as a pastor and surround yourself with friends and support.
Separation is for the purpose of allowing a relationship to heal and be restored and also for your husband to seek out the professionals that can enable him to get on the path to change. Change can take a long time and he would have to be committed to this, along with God's help and you will need to actually see it in action before you should put your heart back out there again if God leads you to do so.
God can restore and heal anything but it is possible too that your husband may not be fully ready to commit to that or make the necessary changes to be the man he needs to be in God's eyes.
You will see, over time, if God leads you to let go or to hang on. In the meantime, you can work through forgiveness (which is different from allowing yourself to immediately trust him again) and healing your own hurt so that you do not remain bitter which will cause your heart to harden and cause even further hurting.
I will keep you in my prayers and I hope you get all the support you need during this really difficult time.

9/13/2008 5:30:17 PM by Elizabeth, Vice-President, Delve Christian Ministries

Hi, I'm sorry about your hurt, I too have had the very same experince. I can feel your hurt, pray and ask God to help you through this trial he will. He see your every tear, and feel every pain. we don't always understand the things that happen in our life, but God does. I want you to remember that God loves you unconditional. Remember the story of Job, remember Job words when he said "though he slay me, yet i will trust him". Don't lose trust in God. THIS TO SHALL PASS Shelly

9/23/2008 12:18:08 AM by shelly, Member of Delve into Jesus since 9/22/2008