I am number six in the line-up of fifteen children. I am 18, and I just graduated from high school this spring. I would like to get married someday, but before then, I want to get a job and go to college to get a degree so that I can support myself if need be someday. My parents do not believe that a woman should be working outside of the home, even if she is not yet married. All of my older sisters had jobs, and the one older sister still living at home has a job as well, but my parents allow her to have it because they changed their beliefs after the fact. I simply do not agree with my parent's ideas on this subject, nor do I agree with them in regards to dating/courting (and the more and more I see my older sister under the rules as she courts her guy, the more and more I do not want to put my guy through it). I want to move out of the house. An older sister has offered to let me stay with her until I can get my feet firmly planted on the ground. I know this will cause a rift between my parents and I (the last sister of mine who did this is still considered "in rebellion" by my parents, even though she is one of the godliest young ladies I have ever met. At this point, I feel like a slave in my own home. I am literally working around the house all of the time. I feel used and neglected. Even so, is it right for me to take this route? Especially since I will not exactly be "keeping the peace?"

6/26/2008 3:47:17 AM by Carrots, Member of Delve into Jesus since 6/26/2008

I know it can be hard while growing up!
Parents have rules and boundaries Not to make a Childs life difficult,
but instead because they love and care for them.
(Sometimes this is difficult to comprehend, until you find yourself a Parent making rules for your own Children!)
Instead of running away if you dissagree with a Family Rule,
why not take it to God in prayer. I believe (and have seen it in my own home) that God will truly bless you, when you obey and do what is right! The years really do fly by, and before you know it, you will be out of your Parents home and making a new life! Please don't rush it!
The problem you have may stem from the "idea" that you "feel like a slave in your own home." Where do you think this thought came from... You are blessed to have Parents, Home, and Family!
You are blessed to help around the house, You Are A Blessing To Others, which really reflects Christ-like character!

"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve..."
Mark 10:45a

This one verse comes to me, the commandment with a Promise!

"Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee."
Deuteronomy 5:16

God bless you! I will be praying for you!

6/26/2008 11:04:01 AM by Ignited~Faith, Member of Delve into Jesus since 2/20/2008

WOW, i know how you feel. i am a senior this year and about to turn 18. it is sure hard to follow rules and yet want to be out of the house so bad. i love my family, but i am ready to get out, and i think it is really impotant to ask God what he wants you to do. it is better to obey him above everyone else. You can do what He says and still respect your parents. i will be praying for you and your future. let God take care of it and your parents will come around.

6/29/2008 11:08:38 PM by loverofhim08, Member of Delve into Jesus since 6/29/2008

Thank you all for your council. I am sorry to prolong this, but I am afraid that I still do not understand. Are my questions irrelevant?

I finished high school a half a year early so that I might help around the house. I have done just that. I am up at 5:30-6 and pretty much work until after the dinner dishes have been completed (unless there are some other biding tasks needing accomplished). My elder sister usually comes home after work and rests (--I do understand why she would be tired), and my younger sister does school throughout the summer, and really, hasnt the motivation to really pitch in. I am not boasting, nor am I attempting to incite pity when I say this: Yes, I know that it is ultimately God whom we serve, but I believe there is a certain point where you can become physically (if not emotionally) worn down. And I believe I am that.

Moving out is something that I have very prayerfully considered for over half a year. I have wrestled with this more than I have wrestled with anything my entire life. I have taken council from elders and godly friends (and yes, I have been careful to not just listen to the things that I want to hear, but also to the things that I need to hear). I am taking into consideration that maybe I am not hearing everything that I need to know... maybe I am missing something.

It is my parents belief that a woman should stay at home until she is married. And if she is not married, she is to remain in her fathers house, until after her fathers death, she is to live with and be supported by a brother. I personally do not believe that it is wrong for a woman to move out of her father's house and/or go to school. (My father believes, quite literally, that Bible college is a cult)

I want to be fair in what I say here: I truly believe that my parents desire Gods best for me, and believe that their methods and practices are the way to go. But, is it right to keep your daughters at home in this way?

6/30/2008 4:46:42 PM by Carrots, Member of Delve into Jesus since 6/26/2008

Hi Carrots,
I am wondering why everything is on you, and all others are not pitching in to help?
Am I hearing you right? You are overworked and feeling physically and emotionally burned-out? (I know this is only a part of the problem as you mention much more.) I would like to shed some light on this matter, God willing. First of all, who taught "you" to clean the house, and do the chores? Was it your Parents, or was it your older Siblings?
Have you thought of taking the time to properly teach and train your younger Siblings, in "how to do chores themselves?" You would be like the Manager who deligates jobs, and makes sure they are done properly. This would take strain from your shoulders. It might even help your Parent's feel less threatened if you left, knowing the other younger Siblings will pick up where you left off, caring for the home, and hopefully if you did decide to leave it would be on good terms.

6/30/2008 8:16:11 PM by Ignited~Faith, Member of Delve into Jesus since 2/20/2008

I don't think your question are irrevalant. You are fair to want out, and I don't quite understand where your parents belielf comes from, surely not the bible? I also know that helping out can be tough, I do it too. I don't know what to tell you, but to pray...listen to what God tells you. If He thinks you should move out, then I would follow that voice and not worry about your parents. I might sound like a broken recors, but prayer is your most powerful tool right now. I will definatley be praying for you.
Ali

6/30/2008 9:29:47 PM by loverofhim08, Member of Delve into Jesus since 6/29/2008

Carrots,
Here are some verses to pray and think about!


Ephesians 6:1-3
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;
That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth."

Colossians 3:20
"Children, obey your parents in all things:
for this is well pleasing unto the Lord."

Exodus 20:12
"Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee."

Proverbs 10:1
"A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother."

1 Timothy 5:8
"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."

Proverbs 23:22
"Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old."

Proverbs 1:8
"My son, hear the instruction of thy father,
and forsake not the law of thy mother:

Deuteronomy 5:16
"Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee."

God bless you Carrots!

7/14/2008 5:22:09 AM by Ignited~Faith, Member of Delve into Jesus since 2/20/2008