Thank you for sharing such a very personal story.
It is so easy to see how anyone living "in" this world can get caught up in the brainwashing of the enemy by him using people (puppets of the devil) to entice us into a self-destructive...TRAP!
My husband owns his own business. Yes, He is a licensed minister, but he chooses not to be behind the pulpit unless the Holy Spirit draws him. He has turned down many an offer. But God's timing is always His best! And if the Lord should not have him preach in a church, he continues to preach at me... the dogs, the cats, the horses and his customers at his shop, etc. Hahaha. So actually, I guess you could say he carries with him, an invisible pulpit. Hahahaha
Before my husband became a licensed minister, however, he too, was caught in the same fishermans net of being a proud workaholic. He told the Lord he'd surrender to ministry when he reached his "million" because he didn't want to be one of those "poor/unwealthy" preachers. Well, he reached 1/4 mil, when suddenly he was stricken with severe headaches, loss of weight and blurred vision. He had a major brain tumor on his pituitary gland. Needless to say, with only hours to live, he asked the Lord, "Why this had happened to him." The Lord told him that He had been drawing him into ministry...but that my husband kept ...putting Him OFF.
Needless to say, my husband began to "think back" and realized that when he was a Gideon for many years, (and traveled a lot), that after his speeches many people would approach him and say, "You really should consider being a minister, I believe that is what God is calling you to do." But it "never" clicked. He was too "busy" (Being Under Satan's Yoke). But before his surgery, he repented and surrendered his life 100 over to his Savior, Jesus Christ. There is still some tumor on his brain, as it was too risky to remove the rest. Yes, he is on medication and has been for 12 years now. But, it is a constant 'reminder' to my husband... WHO COMES FIRST? Work or Jesus?
When we accept Jesus as "Lord"...He takes that position...VERY seriously. (grin) Yes, our Lord expects to be our "first" love, and He deserves to be. It is an honor and privilege to be a child of the "living" God.
Deut. 6:5 says, "And thou shalt Love the Lord thy God with all (100) of thine heart, and with all (100) of thy soul, and with all (100) of thy might." And that means 100...all of the time, not when we feel like it or when it is convenient.
After all 1 John 4:19 says, "We love Him, because He FIRST loved us."
Revelation really sums up God's position when we don't put Him first. Rev. 2:4 says, "Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast LEFT thy FIRST love."
My husband knows, the first thing in the morning I kiss Jesus. Psalm 2:12a says, "KISS the Son..." I spend quality time with my "first" love...before time with my husband. He also knows that I love Jesus MORE than I love him and vice versa. By me loving Jesus ...first, I am able to love my husband with spiritual respect and honor. My boy's are grown and married, and they too know, whose their mom's heart belongs to.
Someone once said, "All...time, belongs to God. How are you spending His time?"
I too in my past, had been caught up in the "world's" rat race and living in sin, when God had to "grab me by the ...THROAT." Hahahaha But ...that's another story, for another time. (grin)
In His service,
P.S. There is no such thing as a "poor/unwealthy" preacher when they are God's child and anointed. A man or woman of God is "rich" beyond measure when Jesus is...First in their life and ...walking in, OBEDIENCE! Amen.